The Woes of Miss A
by I. Lilith Kitsune
Summary: Alice Aurelius is a typical computer genius. So she only but jumps at the chance to be so close to S.H.I.E.L.D.s database, especially when she's sure they have stolen an incomplete project of her's. One that if left in the wrong hands, will be more than deadly, it will be end of the world bad. She just didn't expect to deal with a whole band of childish "Heroes" while doing it.
1. Meetings

Chapter 1

**I** smiled openly at the computer screen, finaly i had been able to do the impossible, so it had taken a few hours and carefully laid plans. What matters was that I had done it. I had beaten the computer at chess. Hardmode style. I was a genius. little fireworks buzzed around me in celebration. I felt electrical shocks when one would ocasionaly pass close to a matrixed part of my body. Lana's voice that was till now filling the otherwise eeriely quiet house stoped.

"Miss Aurelius," The red queen's voice resounded throuh me empty household. " My sensers have located an intruder. What shall we do with her?"

A raised an eyebrow at that. An intruder, a human woman at that was rare. "Is she traped RQ?"I asked the AI. "Yes, Miss Aurelius. Natasha Romanovf is curently being held in the downstairs bathroom, I have already run a background check on her, it is in Olcult file under the comon address as solicitated," RQ responded. "That's why I pay you the big bucks RQ," I tell the AI. I heard a faint snort coming from her speakers, but that was impossible seeing as tht reaction wasn't programed into her database yet. "You don't pay me Miss Aurelius" she responded. "Duelly noted RQ, no need for sarcasm," I respond. She stays silent. I skim over Agent Romanovf's file, noting a few interesting points. Such as that she was a S.H.E.I.L.D agent and what not, then head downstairs to confront the intruder.

Coming up to the wall that seperated me from Agent Romanovf and pressed the button to open the shades. The wall slides down revealing the Agent atempting to escape using the air vents, and so far not being gaining progress, Though she got brownie points for her stealth. She drops down suddenly to and turns to face me. " Miss Aurelius, It's a pleasure!" I detect a hint of an accent, stating that she was russian, though her file already stated that little tibit."Hello Agent Romanovf, I would say that the pleasure is mine, but seeing as you are invading my personal property.."I trail off leting her fill the blanks, " So what do I owe you for this Unexpected visit?" I ask ,quite curious. She gestures to the bathroom. " Prehaps we can talk elsewhere." she states. I nod but can't myself from adding " Be aware that RQ will incinerate you where you stand should you try anything she deems offensive, she's a bit cross at you for atempting to bypass her systems. " She opens the door and nods a bit sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I was a bit curious to test your security. It has legendary status, Miss Aurelius" She tells me in explanation. To this I laugh, "I know, and Call me Alice." She smiles."Only if in turn you call me Natasha."

I believe that we have just bonded. I smile social interaction was something that I hadn't expeirenced in a few years, save a few emails. I lead her to the kitchen and motion her to sit. I turn the computer moniter on, and input the comand to ask RQ to make coffee, not wanting to expose RQ to straners just yet. After grabing two mugs I hand her one and motion her to continue.

"Miss Alice, as you probably already know we have been experimenting with the tesseract," I nod thinking back to the time I hacked the S.H.I.E.L.D, or atempted to hack S.H.I.E.L.D. I only got halfway through till they shut me down. I did get some information about the tesseract. Apparently they were conducting expirements with an unknown energy source. " I'm here to ask for your assistance, you see, there has been an incident. The Tesseract has been stolen by a man named Loki. We need to find Loki and the Tesseract before Loki uses it for dangerous purposes. We have Dr. Bruce Banner and Tony Stark looking for the Tesseract and we are looking for Loki also, but we need you to help us. We believe that you may be avle to understand the tesseract better seeing as you have prior expierience with this sort of thing. This is as much as I am able to disclose to you but as soon as we get to the the base Fury will brief you." I consider her proposal. Thinking that S.H.E.I.L.D. must be desperate to call such a catastrophic band of misfits to fight this Loki character, much less call for my help. I was certain I would rather face certain death than be placed anywhere near a beast, much less a cocky bastard who thought he was god gift to women. On the other hand, hacking into SHIELD's database while inside its hive was like taking candy from a baby, and most certainly worthwhile. I look up to Natasha who is expecting a anwser. "When do we leave?"

I was pretty sure of what I got myself into , at least until I was confined into a small metal container in the sky. Yes, that was enough to get my nerves all into small nots, stupid nerves. My grid pulsed tiny flahes of energy almost as if to anounce my uneasieness to everyone around me. Luckily they had no idea what the small flashes of light "skin" produced were, they just stare at me, just a bit freaked out. Thankfully no one had courage to ask me what it was.

Safe to say I was the first person at the door when the small jet landed. As soon as the hatch opened I practicly flew out of there and into a very big person. When I say big, I mean giant. Altough seeing as I was roughly the size of an child, calling people tall was only natural to me, but this guy was huge. He steadied me. " Watch out ma'm, I may not be there to carch you later." he said. I took a step back to get a better lock at him, then took another when all my eyes could see was a huge chest. My eyes met the bluest irises I hve ever seen. " Sorry, I didn't see you." I said then almost hit myself of my stupidity. So much for being a ninja, I mean, it was kinda hard to miss him. I stuck my hand out in greeting. " Alice Aurelius, you are?" He smiled then took my extended hand. "Steve Rogers ma'm" he anwsered. "Don't call me ma'm, I'll feel old." with that note our brief conversation ended when Natasha came in with a very intresting person in tow.

"Dr. Banner,"i say," it's a pleasure finally meeting you! " He looks at me with a small smile. " Dr. Banner, Word is you can find the cube." Stevie cuts into our scientisty type of moment. The smile on Banner's face drops. "Is that the only word on me?" He asks. "Only word I care about." Stevie gets big brownie points for that statement, and the smile returns to Banner's face. He turns his attention to me. "I know you from somewhere..., " he trails off. "I doubt it Banner, but I was impressed by your Gamma Radiation research, despite, you know the grr"I make a grr face to emphasize my point," problem." That gets hin to chuckle a bit. " Yes, I'm afraid i wouldn't be so impressed with it, seeing the outcome." I shook my head. "Hey, your alive, that in itself is remarkable, don't treat your condition as a liabilty treat it as a gift." he smiles for my benifit not really believing me. "So most people are scared of you, and you have anger manegment problems, and every time you come into a room people are afraid you'll break one of the good lamps. At least your hot, for an old guy," I add that last part after looking him up and down. He snorts, mostly amused.

"You may wanna step inside in a minute. It's gonna get a little hard to breath." Miss Romanoff cuts in. The three of us walk up to the border thinking the ship was going to submerge. "Is this is a submarine?" Steve asks. "Really? They wanted me in a submerged pressurized metal container?" Dr. Banner snorts sarcasticly. "Hey at least were not.." I was arubtly cut off when the ship began to lift up onto the air "flying ," I finally add , a bit sour. Great! more flying! As if voicing my concrns Bruce adds," Oh, no. This is much worse." Tell me about it. With that final note we went inside.


	2. Bionic Woman

-2-

Once we walk inside Steve Hands Cyclops a ten-dollar bill. I pay no mind it probably being an inside thing , Dr. Banner and I sit down at a large meeting table, waiting for One eyed Jack to continue his holier than thou speech that I was all but sure was coming. It was one of the reasons I hated Shield so much. I wasn't saint, by any terms, but at least I didn't try to play martyr."Once again it will up to Sheild to save the world,As you have been briefed, the tessaract has passed on to the wrong hand and we need to save it, for the good of us all..Doctor, thank you for coming," he speaks to banner, here we go. " Thanks for asking nicely. So, uh...how long am I staying?"Banner asks , with a nervous look in his eyes." Once we get our hands on the Tesseract, you're in the clear." Me and Banner exchanged looks highly doubting that. "As for you, Miss Aurelius, we would prefer it if you kept your eyes on the matter at hand, and not other pending notions," In response I raise an eyebrow at him. Was he serious? "seriously Blackbeard? Who in their right mind would give up this chance. Might as well tell you now, We are not allies. You are desperate, and I am a last resort." Fury most definitely did not expect that. His eyebrows shot up, and he murmured "blackbeard?" flabbergasted. Banner cut the tension by asking, "Where are you with the tesseract?" Fury points at Coulson to explain." We're sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet. Cell phones, laptops. If it's connected to a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us."

"That's still not gonna find them in time." Natasha pointed out. "You have to narrow the field. How many spectrometers do you have access to?" Banner inquired, getting all scientisited up. not waiting for a response he continued."Call every lab you know, tell them to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays. I'll rough out a tracking algorithm based on cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?" Fury nodded then sent a pointed look Natasha's way."Follow me." She nodded towards the both of us. Steve stays behind engaged in a conversation with Agent Phil. Both men fade away as we walk further into the maze that is the hellcarrier. We come up to this glass panel, after hitting a few select buttons they open to reveal a mini lab. Forgetting the others I walk in taking a look at the out-dated equipment, familiarizing myself with it. Only after a few times is Banner able to get my attention.

"Miss Aurelius, we have found Loki" I nod and walk out, heading straight for Nick.

Pretty soon I find myself in the middle of a crowd saving an old man with cCaptain America. "You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing." I roll my eyes, how corny was that. "I kinda agree with that, besides the obvious dorkyness rolling of that sentences in nuclear explosions," I quip, not wanting to be ignored, me and ignorance don't work well together. The green-eyed bastard in a Horned outfit looked at me with interest. " This is what my enemy sends to defeat me!A woman, and a man out of time!" He laughs almost gleefully , his eyes lighting up in amusement. The Captain just has to make a statement,".I'm not the one who's out of time." I roll my eyes. " Oh cm'on people, where are the funnys in this, I mean,"I look around and start to walk towards the god," This is a trickster god! For god sakes, "A man out of time! Is that the best you can do. Don't mention that you also completely ignore me by calling me, A Woman! Where are your standards," by this point I was up in Loki's face, he smirked at me, finding my rant amusing. I felt RQ power my grid up slightly and start to sizzle, Loki expression turn confused as he tries to identify the sound. "Besides your one to talk, I mean The horns? do you know how many quips I can get out of this one! We women might shock you!" He was too late to stop me as he flew towards the hotel the air crackled around me. " You foolish human! Did you think your parlor tricks would kill me? How dare you insult a god!" I smirked at him," Let me guess, were ants compared to your holiness! Take the stick out your ass would you, you prick." "Loki, Stand down!" A huge airship appears in the background. I suddenly feel a blast that sends me flying, I feel instant pain as my back crashes into a fountain, my muscles tear up into small pieces and my head suddenly went on strike and began to riot out of control, ok not really, but damn that what i felt like. I wasn't a huge fan of pain...

Loki comes up to where I was weakly trying to stand. "Kneel woman." I rolled my eyes. " How bout I give you the finger instead." I gave him the finger. " I will settle for you arm" RQ only had fifteen seconds to charge up as he grabbed my arm with dexterity and began to pull it off. I felt my bones practically turn into dust where his strong grip held me. He flew back again after my charge was done and I bit my lip to keep from screaming. I felt light headed. " RQ shield up at 40% nothing gets thru should I pass out." "Of course miss. Should I run a check of surrounding, it seems an aircraft is heading towards you."The red Queens voice rang out from my earpiece. "Yes, run it through RQ." My eyes lit up as the information passed through them, i focused on analyzing every detail to not pass out from the pain. Captain America and the bastard was fighting it up near me. Miss Romanof had an annoyed expression on her face inside the carrier and apparently Iron man was about to make his début. After a few snide remarks, that were actually funny, Loki finally surrendered.

Soon we were inside the carrier escorting the god to his personalized cell. I sat at a table getting ready to fix my arm while Mr. America and Stark were looking out for any brisk movements from the god. Mr. Stark walked up to where I was getting my instruments cleaned. " What are you planing to do about that, in an Airship,?" I look at him like he's crazy. "Fix it of course, I mean I am a Doctor." He smile at me. the smile lights up his eyes making him look more drk haired even ruffled a bit in the non-existent breeze. Can he get more typical! " You're a doctor? Do you have a sexy uniform? Would you let me see it...take it off maybe?" I laugh at him kinda stunned at his bluntness. " Yes, Yes,and a big no" I answer his smile turns into a pout, "Why not!" I ignore him and begin to cut my arm open. Tony freaks out a bit tying to stop me, he hit Rq's small shield I had activated for that specific purpose. After making the T cut, I lift up my skin to see how much damage Loki had done. "Mother of god" I hear Tony exclaim from behind. I had finally stopped the bleeding, and my Grid was showing up nicely. The grid was an interlacing of wires that served as a first defense mechanism for my body. It was run by RQ. I take the opened side of the grid and open it to show where Loki had crushed my bones. I curse, the damage was sustainable and it had crushed my lower arm. The once elegant designs that I had made was now a piece of lumpy metal." I turn to Loki. "You little Shit, do you know how long it will take to repair this! Or the resources I have lost!" Loki stares at me, a dead look in his eyes.

"It now feels redundant to be called iron man. Seeing as your actually made of Iron." I turn to tony "I'm not actually made of Iron,or rather Necrodermis, just a good part of me, I'm pretty sure my head remains intact.. oh, actually... nevermind." I corrected, think back to the internal earphone i installed... that had been a bitch to get in. "Is there any particular reason you decided you want to turn into Bionic Woman, not that the look doesn't suit you, Ive never bedded a robot" I rolled my eyes at the Bionic woman jab, it was not, after all, the first time I had been called that. "If you're prying for personal details, save your breath, Stark," I countered. He just laughed. admittedly it was a nice laugh, very masculine. What is up with SHEILd and having hot people working for them. How the hell did they think it was a good idea to put a woman who had been deprived of human contact together with a load of very hot guys was beyond me.

Suddenly thunder rumbled through the plane. Loki made a noise of dicontentment. "Whats the matter, scared of a bit of thunder?" Someone asked Loki, most likely Stark. "Not very fond of what come after" He said a foreshadowing tint in hs voice.

The next few moments happened in sonicspeed, or something close to that. A huge thunk was hear, which sent Natasha in a panic, then as soon as Stark was to leave to check it out. A smokin guy that looked like he must've come out of a Xena episode dramatically landed on the carrier stole Loki after a few quick words, and flew out of there, leaving a very befuddled group of heros behind. Stark and The Captain automatically went into Hero mode, going very bravely, yet stupidly out of a plane to stop the big guy, the other not green big guy. Stevie actually attempted to make a plan of attack but Stark let with the intelligent plan of... Attacking! I roll my eyes, and to think he was a genius...


	3. Conversation with a god

Weighing my options, I decide to stay here and try to repair the damage caused by the god. The entire upper half of my forearm had been crushed into one huge lumpy piece of junk, the nanotechs were already repairing it, doing their best to put me back together. Safe to say, the process hurt like hell. For the most part, my nerve endings were automatically isolated, to prevent a trauma, but a few had been damaged in the fight and from the electric blast, and had shortcircuted, causing a ocasional jolt to pass through. Not fun.

"Were landing close to them Alyss, we should try to stop them from killing themselves." Natasha's voice rang through the now empty ship. I turn to her a nod. I jump out when I'm sure the distance won't kill me. My feet land softly. My ears are hit wit the sound of clashing, and a few select profanities. I ignore them, looking for my prize instead. "RQ, can you get me Loki's locaation." RQ's presence spring to life in my head. "Are you sure that's wise Miss? Your body will not be able to sustain any more nerve damage." "No need to be concerned, I'm not gonna fight him, just want to make sure the prize doesn't run off." With a resignated sigh A map finally came up in front of me. I nod my thanks, and walk up to the clearing where Loki is siting down,back resting on a th rock, almost as if chose to sit down to view the scenery, and isn't a prisoner. "Their right, you know." I say to the god. His emerald eyes flick leisurely to me, He keeps silent for a while,almost making me belive he is ignoring me, then finally he speaks "And what, my dear, are they right about." I sit down next to him, as outwardly relaxed as he. I finally turn my head to look him in the eye. He's eyeing me ,bemused." Your not a prisoner here, you're a puppet master." That gets him to chuckle quietly. I continue," I'm thinking that we can do tis two ways," I say playing with the ring on my left hand.

"We can be all macho, like the Twiddle dee's over there, and fight this out to our last breath or something, or we can both come to the agreement that you want to be here, and just watch the show." He laughs, mischievously, then slams a hand around my neck threatningly but not so hard as to cut off my supply of air. He puts his body over me, to help restrain me should I struggle. I raise an eyebrow at him, not moving from my relaxed positions "Now why would I miss the opportunity of killing the problem before it starts, hmm?" I shrug," Won't help." His eyebrows crunch up like a kid who just lost his favorite toy, admittedly, he looked cute."That's Bleak." He turns back to sit by me like nothing had just happened. "That's life," I say knowingly, and a bit a frustrated. He pouts slightly, eyeing me with a look of newfound interest. I laugh at his depressed expression. " Your telling the truth." his voice was tinted with a bit of wonderment.

"No shit, Sherlock"

And that's how the Heros found us, after they were done with their "Anything you can do, I can do better" contest. There we were laughing it up, like we were two peas in a pod, and I cannot belive I just thought that...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOX OX

AN: This is part of the thrid chapter, but I usually strive to make it at least 1,000 words long. Alas,I have major writer's block so this is all I was able to squeze out of my muse it's so short I'm actually annoyed! Anyway, even after long hours of bribing her with cookies, this is it. I will post what I have so far.

But seriously, I have no idea where this story's heading... Ideas? Please?

Also, Pairings! Who should be with whom? I want to see where you see this heading for!

Reviews are like candy, the make me write more!

Beijos,

Ily-


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